Book Review | Underwater by Marisa Reichardt

Title: Underwater
Author: Marisa Reichardt
Series or Standalone: Standalone
Genre: YA Contemporary
Publication Date: 7/4/2016
Format: Paperback
Source: Publisher
Star Rating: 3.5 stars
GOODREADS


Synopsis ->

Morgan didn’t mean to do anything wrong that day. Actually, she meant to do something right. But her kind act inadvertently played a role in a deadly tragedy. In order to move on, Morgan must learn to forgive—first someone who did something that might be unforgivable, and then herself.
But Morgan can’t move on. She can’t even move beyond the front door of the apartment she shares with her mother and little brother. Morgan feels like she’s underwater, unable to surface. Unable to see her friends. Unable to go to school. 
When it seems Morgan can’t hold her breath any longer, a new boy moves in next door. Evan reminds her of the salty ocean air and the rush she used to get from swimming. He might be just what she needs to help her reconnect with the world outside. 
Underwater is a powerful, hopeful debut novel about redemption, recovery, and finding the strength it takes to face your past and move on.

Thank you to Pan Macmillan Australia for sending me a copy of this book! I loved this book because I could relate so much to the main character, not the traumatic experience, but the anxiety and agoraphobia that she developed. So many things had me nodding my head in agreement. I loved the cute little romance that happened throughout and how supportive they both were and they were just so good for each other BUT he was only really supportive and good for her towards the end. It took him a while to actually understand what she was going through and how to react to certain things that she did. Sooooo I'm kind of 50/50 on the romance. It doesn't explicitly say what Morgan went through in the synopsis, but you find out about a quarter of the way through and there was something about that day that Morgan hasn't told anybody. There was one part of the novel that really resonated with me and it's when Morgan is with her psychologist (who is awesome, by the way) and they managed to leave the house which was a huge feat in itself and Morgan says, 'I can't do it', and Brenda says something like, 'You're already doing it'. Your brain tries to trick you, and I recently had an experience where mine tried to trick me while I was on my prac for uni, and I'd get to school and say to myself that I couldn't do it, but I just needed to remind myself that I was there. I was already doing it. I could do this. I don't know if the author has a background in psychology, but I loved how the psychologist in the book actually knew what she was talking about. I definitely recommend this one!

ACOMAF PLAYLIST

So I finished reading A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas last night, and I haven't been this obsessed with a book and its characters for a while so I immediately went and created a playlist for all my feels! 

BEWARE - SPOILERS AHEAD!

1. Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon
"So you can drag me through hell
If it meant I could hold your hand.
I will follow you, cause I'm under your spell
And you could throw me to the flames.
I will follow you, I will follow you."

I wanted to put this song first because to me, this song is literally the perfect Rhysand&Feyre love song. omg as soon as it gets to the chorus I just want to CRY bc I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Okay I like to call this next section the 'OMG TAMLIN WTF R U DOING? STOP!' section. These ones are pretty self explanatory if you've read the beginning of the book. It centres around Feyre's unhappiness while with Tamlin.

2. (The Symphony of) Blasé by Anberlin
"This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can.
Words have no meaning 
When I've seen where you've been."

3. Let Go by Safetysuit
"You go a long way getting your way sometimes
And everything's screaming.
It's time we let go, let go let go. 
I'm gonna say no, say no, say no.
It's time to let go, let go, let go."

4. Drown (new) by Bring Me The Horizon
"What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead.
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper.
And I can't take one more moment of this silence.
The loneliness is haunting me.
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up."

5. My House by Pvris
"Haven't you heard?
I'm not yours anymore."

"Never thought that I would feel like this
Such a mess when I'm in your presence
I've had enough, I think you've been making me sick
It's my house
And I think it's time to get out
It's my soul
It isn't yours anymore
It's my house
And I think it's time to get out"

6. Too Late by The Paper Kites

"No love, you have come too late
No love, you have come too late

Such darkness
But I know your face cause I learned it as if I was blind
In the moment
I feel like I am and I hate that I know it so well
You're always in my head
Searing your thoughts in to my skin
But this still won't work, no"

Okay, these next songs take place after Feyre has left Tamlin.

7. Fix You by Coldplay

"Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"

Rhys and Feyre both being broken by what Amarantha had done to them and Rhys always being there for Feyre and letting her be her own person.

8. Waking Up (Acoustic) by Pvris
"Oh I can't see
The whites are missing from my eyes
I can't breathe
I'm doing everything to bring this body back to life."

Feyre trying to feel something again.

9. Dig by Incubus

"We all have something that digs at us
At least we dig each other

So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me

Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone"

When Rhys has to become the dreaded 'High Lord of the Night Court' in front of Feyre.

10. The Way by Zack Hemsey
Whenever I hear this mostly instrumental song, I think of Feyre picking herself back up and becoming the biggest badass in history.

11. Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande

"Nothing to prove and I'm bulletproof and
Know what I'm doing
The way we're movin' like introducing
Us to a new thing
I wanna savor, save it for later
The taste of flavor, 'cause I'm a taker
'Cause I'm a giver, it's only nature
I live for danger

All that you got, skin to skin, oh my God
Don't ya stop, boy

Oh yeah
Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman
Somethin' 'bout you
Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't
Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you."

How Rhys makes Feyre feel 😍

12. You Belong Here by Anberlin
"You belong here.

You were meant for me.
You belong here.
You belong here with me.
You were meant to be with me.

You are the better part, you see.
Always have and always will.
You'll be the better part of me, oh oh.
For the rest of my life."

How Feyre feels at home in Velaris with Rhys and her new family. I WANT TO CRY WITH HAPPINESS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

13. Empty by Pvris
"You took these starving limbs, try to see
Try to see what they could be
I thought I would be something
I thought you'd complete me
That you'd erase all the pain
That I felt in my brain
If you fill my heart with love
Then you'd fill my voids with love
And now you see that didn't change a thing.

What do you want from me?"

Feyre reflecting on her relationship with Tamlin when she sees him again in Hybern.


14. Fire by Pvris
"You're out of line,

Buried yourself alive and expected to be fine
You can't rewind,
When you're choking on your own dirt begging for your life

Your bridges are burning
And all the tables are turning
You started a fire, and you're burning up, up
Burning up.

What you give, is what you get
And in your case that's nothing but guilt and regret
And all the flames you kept in your brain
Came out your lips and sent you straight into your own grave

You were a walking, talking, corpse at best.
And I swear I couldn't wait to get you off my chest,
And when you asked us why
We couldn't look you in your eyes,
It's hard to find life in something that's already died."

Feyre's all consuming rage at Tamlin and what he's done and how she plans to ruin him. I AM RAGING RIGHT WITH U GURL OMG.

15. Medicine by Broods
"Oh and it's the only way, it's the, it's the only way out"

What Feyre is thinking and trying to shout through the bond as she pretends that she's been tricked by Rhysand so that they can all get out alive. 

16. Killing You by Broods
"But it's killing me
And it's killing you
Cause I wish you were here."

This is how I imagine Feyre and Rhys feel straight after the events in ACOMAF, when they're forced to separate while Feyre tries to take down the Spring Court from the inside.

CUE THE BIGGEST BOOK HANGOVER IN HISTORY. *faints*

BOOK REVIEW | The Protected by Claire Zorn

Title: The Protected
Author: Claire Zorn
Series or Standalone: Standalone
Genre: YA Contemporary
Publication Date: 23/7/2014
Format: Paperback
Source: Publisher - UQP
Star Rating: 4 stars
GOODREADS

Synopsis -->
Hannah's world is in pieces and she doesn't need the school counsellor to tell her she has deep-seated psychological issues. With a seriously depressed mum, an injured dad and a dead sister, who wouldn't have problems?
Hannah should feel terrible but for the first time in ages, she feels a glimmer of hope and isn't afraid anymore. Is it because the elusive Josh is taking an interest in her? Or does it run deeper than that?
In a family torn apart by grief and guilt, one girl's struggle to come to terms with years of torment shows just how long old wounds can take to heal.


THIS, my friends, is how you write a YA novel focusing on a serious topic.
Claire Zorn is definitely an author to watch. I read her debut, The Sky So Heavy, in less than 24 hours and immediately after finishing it, I picked up this book because I couldn't get enough of Zorn's realistic and raw characters. 

The Protected is about Hannah and how her and her family are torn apart by the loss of Hannah's older sister. It also realistically portrays horrific bullying, family troubles, panic attacks and the reality of being an outcast in high school. I am honestly blown away by Claire Zorn's ability to write so realistically. 

What I absolutely adored about this novel is that it doesn't have your typical YA instalovey bullcrap that makes Hannah magically okay again. Yes, she meets a guy, but he's her friend and he helps her just by being there for her. Sure, they'll probably get married in like 12 years, but at this point in time when the novel is set, THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT. What's important is Hannah's mental health and overcoming her guilt and her grief, overcoming years of horrific bullying and a year of having a mother completely disappear into herself and an injured father who can't remember anything that happened on the day they lost Katie. 

My only complaint about this novel is that I wanted more, but I think this has more to do with me, not the book. The book ended beautifully, but personally, a lot of the time I crave more of the characters that I've grown to love. 

Definitely go and check out The Sky So Heavy AND this book, because Claire Zorn is definitely an author to watch! She has a new book coming out soon and yOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR I'LL BE DEVOURING IT ASAP. 

Mini Review | This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Title: This is Where it Ends
Author: Marieke Nijkamp
Series or Standalone: Standalone
Genre: YA Thriller/Contemporary
Publication Date: 5/1/2016
Format: Hardcover
Source: Library
Star Rating: 3.5 stars
GOODREADS

Synopsis -->
10:00 a.m. The principal of Opportunity High School finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.
10:02 a.m. The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.
10:03 a.m. The auditorium doors won't open.
10:05 a.m. Someone starts shooting.
Told from four different perspectives over the span of fifty-four harrowing minutes, terror reigns as one student’s calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival.

I keep changing my rating because I have very mixed feelings about this. Firstly, I stayed up into the early hours of the morning reading this because I couldn't put it down. It was completely gripping and horrific and I just had to know what happened. However, I felt as though some of the characters (especially the shooter) were very underdeveloped. I have personally never experienced a school shooting, but some of the things that characters did/said seemed completely ridiculous and unrealistic to me - for example one of the characters confronts the shooter and says 'You know, sweaty chic does't suit you'. Like, what????????? If there was the possibility that you were about to be shot, that's really what you would say? You wouldn't be shaking in your boots? That just didn't make sense to me. But like I said, I was hooked from page one, and I didn't think I would be because the entire novel spans only 1 hour, but through the different perspectives there were expertly placed mini-cliffhangers and you had to wait until you got their perspective again to find out what happened. 
The novel also has a very 'black and white'/'good vs evil' stance which I don't necessarily agree with either. I think I'll keep it at 3.5 stars for now because of how it kept my eyes glued to the book until the very last page.

Book Review | The Sky So Heavy by Claire Zorn

Title: The Sky So Heavy
Author: Claire Zorn
Series or Standalone: Standalone
Genre: YA Apocalypse/Dystopia
Publication Date: 24/7/2013
Format: Paperback
Source: Publisher - UQP
Star Rating: 4 stars
GOODREADS

Synopsis -->
For Fin, it's just like any other day - racing for the school bus, bluffing his way through class, and trying to remain cool in front of the most sophisticated girl in his universe, Lucy. Only it's not like any other day because, on the other side of the world, nuclear missiles are being detonated.


I just finished this book, hugged it to my chest and let out a small wail. Wow. What an engrossing and gripping debut. The Sky So Heavy follows the aftermath of Nuclear testing gone wrong, resulting in a nuclear winter. Our main characters live just outside of Sydney, Australia and it is their harrowing story of loss and survival, of love and friendship and ultimately, it's a powerful allegory in which the reality of Australia's asylum seeker crisis is brought to light. 

This book was also scarily realistic, in that this isn't a dystopian revolving around a disaster that could never happen in real life (e.g. zombies), but a nuclear war? That could happen and the results would be absolutely devastating, like worldwide famine and entire nations completely demolished. The book was brutal, honest and raw. The last 50 pages had my heart caving in in agony. 

The characters were really what made this book for me. We have Fin, who is just trying to keep his 12 year old brother alive. We Lucy, the girl that Fin has had a crush on from the minute she first walked into the classroom. And then we have Noll, my precious cinnamon roll. He was severely bullied in school and nobody did anything to stop it, not even Fin, who was best friends with one of the biggest bullies in the school. But disaster brings people together and things like this get put into perspective. There were also some amazing side characters that honestly stole my heart. Mr Effrez OMG i love him so much <3 and Alan! What a precious old man.

An absolute stunner of a debut and a book I wish I'd read sooner! I highly, highly recommend this one if you want a realistic look into a devastating disaster and a book that will leave you sobbing with the pain of it all. 

A V. Personal Review of Bridget Jones's Diary

Title: Bridget Jones's Diary
Author: Helen Fielding
Series or Standalone: Bridget Jones #1
Genre: Adult Contemporary/Retelling of Pride and Prejudice
Publication Date: 1996
Format: Paperback
Source: Bought
Star Rating: 1 star
GOODREADS

Synposis ---> A dazzling urban satire of modern human relations?
An ironic, tragic insight into the demise of the nuclear family?
Or the confused ramblings of a pissed thirty-something?
Helen Fielding's devastatingly self-aware, laugh-out-loud account of a year in the life of a thirty-something Singleton launched a genre and transcended the pages of fiction to become a cultural icon.

Prepare yourselves, it's about to get personal up in here.

So, I've never seen the movie of Bridget Jones's Diary, so I thought I would read the highly acclaimed book before doing so and, to my great surprise, I ended up hating almost everything about it. I 100% understand why people like it - it's funny and relatable and reminiscent of the great decade that was the 90's, but because of a purely personal problem, this book made me feel like garbage and therefore making me absolutely loathe my reading experience. 

Bridget is always writing down her weight and saying she's fat, but the thing is, it's not just herself saying this. Friends, family and other characters also call her fat throughout the novel and then I look at me, who weighs over 15 kilos more than Bridget, and it honestly made me feel like crap. I have already been struggling with confidence and self-loathing because over the past couple of years I've put on 25 kilos due to changing medications for my mental health, so this book honestly just made it worse. Is this what people on the street think about me when I walk by? Do my friends and family secretly discuss how much weight I've put on behind my back? It honestly took me back to when members of my own family were making snide remarks about my weight or offering suggestions for how exercise and dieting could benefit me, thinking they were helping when really, it made it ten times worse. 

I was 3/4 of the way through the book, when I thought to myself, has anything plot-wise actually happened? Nope. Just a bunch of damaging self-hatred that triggered my own. 

I get that a lot of people love the book and that's fine, I totally get it, but for me, it ended up being a damaging and destructive novel that ended up being quite triggering for my depression.

Let me know any thoughts you guys have on this book or any of the things I've discussed!

BOOK REVIEW | JANE EYRE

So, I recently read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë for the first time and it swiftly became my favourite book of all time! Watch my review here ->